My thoughts on “splitting” fosters up

When I have an uneven group of kittens and it’s time to start looking for their families, I always get the same well-meaning comments:

“You can’t split them up!”
“Someone adopt all three!” (Easier said than done!)
“He’s all alone…” (after two are adopted)

I understand where these feelings come from. No one likes to see friends getting separated. But if you’ve followed me for some time, you know I don’t take these decisions lightly. I always try my absolute best to find the right homes for my foster kittens.

When I have a trio, I do start by trying to find a family who wants all three—especially if I feel it’s in the kittens’ best interest. But sometimes, one kitten is more independent or might thrive in a home with other friendly cats or dogs. It’s never a one-size-fits-all decision.

Take Shrimp, for example. He arrived with his sibling Grits, but from the beginning, I could see they weren’t going to be bonded. All Shrimp wanted was me, while Grits wanted a feline playmate. That’s why I brought in Waffles—a new foster—just for Grits. Waffles was intense and unsure at first, but I knew in my heart that the two would click. And they did. Grits and Waffles are now inseparable in their forever home.

So what about Shrimp? I had a special plan for him too. He had already met one of my previous adopters—the one who adopted Apollo months before. She was open to bringing home a second kitten but wasn’t sure who or when. I love when adopters come to me with that trust and openness—just like Nova’s mom did when she asked me to help find a friend for her solo cat, Sophie. Nova and Sophie are now the best of friends. And Shrimp? He joined Apollo, and now they’re peas in a pod!

I’ve made similar decisions before. Willow, Tiger Lily, and Jasper came from the same hoarding situation. I decided to keep Tiger Lily and Jasper together, as they were much closer, and placed Willow—who was confident and independent—on his own. It took very little time for Willow to bond with his new kitty siblings.

One of my only hard rules is that none of my foster kittens go to homes where they’ll be the only furry kid. Confident cats like Willow or Pebbles can more easily adjust to new environments, as long as the family is mindful during the integration.

In my opinion, being siblings doesn’t automatically mean they should stay together. What matters most is personality, playstyle, cuddle style, timing, and intuition. GB and Smokey were brothers, but Smokey was closer with Baby (from another litter), so I kept them together. GB has a best friend for life… me.

And then there’s Coco and Puff. A vet once told me they should be separated because of the suckling challenge they had. But I fought hard for the pair. I followed my heart—and they were adopted together by a loving couple.

Finding the right home, not just a home, takes time. Finding the right home for a pair takes even more effort. And for a trio? It hasn’t happened to me yet. But I always try—when I believe it’s what’s best. Still, I won’t let a kitten miss their perfect person by waiting too long for a three-cat miracle.

These decisions require a delicate balance between logic and emotion. My goal is always the same: to give every kitten the best possible chance at a happy life—and to keep helping the next ones who need me.

As for the Mini Cereals—Frosty, Honey Nut, and Pebbles—I did hope to find a home for all three. But after a few months, it’s time to consider other paths. I’ll likely adopt two together—the ones who are most co-dependent and sensitive in nature—and place the more adaptable kitten as a solo with a new buddy in their future home.

I’m so grateful for all the love you have for my fosters and wanting the best for them. And thank you for trusting me to do what’s best for them.