Discouraged and frustrated…(with a fear of leash update)

(This post was written for dog owners with: a nervous, defensive dog with behavior issues)

This is not much of a training post, except for the leash training update at the end since my last post. This is going to be my venting session to whomever feels like listening. If you are a rescue person and have fostered dogs with behavior problems, I’m sure you can relate a little.

I’ve been having some minor breakdowns with my fosters since spring of last year. I don’t foster a lot but I do a lot of work with the dogs I do bring home. Potty training, chewing, socializing, jumping, impulse control, preventing problems, whining, reactivity or whatever I think the dog has a potential for, I will try to enhance that. I take it very seriously, sometimes too seriously. And when I don’t do it well, I let it get to me. The last foster was returned multiple times, right after I brought Finn, my current foster home. The reactivity from both dogs, the doggy shuffling, not having time between two jobs and fosters really affected me, my dogs and my husband. My husband agreed to fostering dogs with certain conditions. I have broken the conditions too many times already. I know I’m walking on a thin ice before he really has enough. I feel guilty for not spending as much time with my own dogs, who have been so tolerant and patient all these months.

Finn is a fun and high energy Border Collie, exactly the type I look for in a dog. But he has/had a dark side, almost multiple personalities. One second he’s sweet as honey, the next second his ears are pinned with wrinkles on his muzzle. He came with almost every issue you could imagine. Food guarding, reactivity, destructiveness, copraphagia, mouthing, off the wall energy without an off switch, jumping, biting and snapping, generalized fear, sound/sight sensitivity, excitement and fear peeing, leash fighting, recycling his own feces in the crate, barking, whining, pica, and being afraid of handling. Imagine a resource guarder that likes to eat feces and rocks in the yard. By a vet and the last adopter, he was deemed aggressive and unpredictable. I had over 15 families inquired about him but I had to turn all down. I know for sure he’s a 200% better dog since the day I pulled him. He can now chill in the house, “I” can grab his collar without getting snapped. He even brings his bone to me. But I keep asking myself…who would want to adopt a dog with so many behavior challenges? I’m not a miracle worker. I can modify behaviors and make his life easier but when a dog has this many, deep issues at this age, he can never be trusted 100%. I just recently stopped tip-toeing around him but I’m still careful in certain situations. He’s always going to be a nervous dog underneath that wildly fun personality — which makes it even more unpredictable. It is such a shame as he could have been a great sport dog if the first year of his life had been more positive.

Other fosters are getting adopted. They can go to families with children. Some will become agility dogs or therapy dogs. I no longer get inquiries since the return, probably because of the updated bio but I have to honest about his issues. A few people brought up the dreaded “option” and asked whether he was really adoptable. It’s a big dilemma. Of course I have thought about it. As a trainer and a responsible foster mom, I have to put the safety of the adopters and the people around them a top priority. I know how he can be when pushed and most dog owners don’t have the skills, patience and will to make it work. I also believe that pet owners deserve well-tempered dog as their companion.

What do I do? I don’t really have any other options other than to keep going, keep working until I hit the roadblock again. When I’m feeling discouraged, I always go back to my training journal and his videos. The journal reminds me how far we have come and watching the adoption videos I made for him always make me smile and gives me hope.

I’m OK now after having a few days off from training him and indulging myself with comfort food. I have to say what really helped was having oxytocin, endorphin and serotonin overload. I don’t know if I really got to boost my serotonin level but thanks to my friend Laura who suggested snuggling my dog, I know I got plenty of oxytocin. I tend to fall for placebo easily so whatever I believe worked, worked.

So that was my venting post and I appreciate you listening… I’m sure I’ll hit a wall again but in the mean time, I must keep working with him.

Fear of leash update

Here’s a quick update on his leash training. I had been managing his fear of leash by letting him lean against me prior to leashing up. He gets defensive when a hand or a leash goes over his head. I realized that someone is going to ignore the instructions (like at the vet or a boarding facility) and try to leash him up over his head. So since the last post was posted, he’s learning to enjoy being leashed with a slip leash.

Read the previous blog post about fear of leashes